Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Some Christmas Ponderings

1) Rudolph: Why is Rudolph's dad such a sexist pig? We watched that movie the other know...the classic one from the 50's? And Rudolph's dad is kind of a jerk. He's rude to Rudolph because his nose glows so he makes him cover it up so he's not embarrassed in front of his other buck friends. Then he gets mad when the fake nose falls off after Rudolph leaps for joy that the young doe likes him...not to mention the fact that he doesn't even give him props for his first moment of flying. So...Rudolph runs away encountering a "misfit" elf and they venture off together in search of acceptance. Bleh. Meanwhile, back at Christmas Town (that's where Rudolph is from...don't you know) Mrs. Rudolph's mom wants to go in search of her poor sweet son but the sexist husband stops her and tells her "no...this is man's work" Direct quote. Wow. So she does what any self respecting wife would do and goes anyway after he leaves and takes the sweet doe with her. So now, she has gone against her husbands wishes and kidnapped a minor in the process. Ahem. Finally...a few antlers later...they all get caught up together in the cave of the monster...the abominable snowman. Rudolph and his buddies end up being the heroes (of course). And it turns out that the beast isn't so vicious after all...apparently he just had a toothache. "Time to get the women folk back to Christmas Town" yep. Another direct quote. So they get the women folk back to Christmas Town where everyone is sorry because they've realized how beneficial Rudolph's nose is in a storm. The end.
*I don't think I like this movie but then my heart tells me that I do. I feel ponderous on this...

2) Fudge: Yum. My mom makes the best fudge in the world. I say that with the utmost confidence. If she participated in a Fudge Judge she would win the blue ribbon and probably a $25 gift card to Applebees. My problem is I can't stop eating it. I think I have gained 10 lbs of fudge weight. Merry Christmas hips and thighs!

3) Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special: I just recommended this to my friend Nate. He looked at me in disgust and horror. Why Nate? Why do you despise the Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special? There's puppets and singing and dancing...what could be better than that? Get it. Watch it. I'm pretty sure it's on sale at the Dollar Tree.

4) Shopping: Ugh. I hate it. I like it. I hate it. I kind of like it...THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE! They push past me smelling of beef stick and cheese and sometimes BO. They touch me. Gross. They look at me with beady eyes if I'm in the same section of the store. LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT $20 TOASTER ANYWAY! Yikes! Online shopping. Sigh. It's magical. Got most of my shopping done that way this year. It was delightful. The husband and I tag teamed on Black Friday. He sat in his underwear...let's be honest it's his favorite thing to do...while I was out braving the madness that is BLACK FRIDAY (say this with an echo). I had my gloves (it was cold outside for goodness sakes) and my list and he had his computer. And we both had cell phones. Woot! So I would find a deal and call the husband, then he would look it up on amazon (God bless amazon) and then we would get the best deal. It was like we were giving it back to all those in charge of the shopping frenzy! TAKE THAT CEO! Is what my husband would yell to the heavens every time we got the better deal. I love him. He's cute. Shopping done.

5) The High Bed: The husband built a platform bed for the boy for Christmas this year. He built it because 1) you can't find good ones 2) If you find a good one it's only at Pottery Barn and costs $1,000,000 So...the conclusion was to build it ourselves. The love is very good at this. He built our bed too. Did you know he was so talented? Did you? It's cuz I give him sugar (actual sugar...don't be gross). So...the bed is built. And it is LARGE. 10 feet tall to be exact. He asked me if I thought he should cut it down a bit and I'm pretty sure my exact response was "Ummm...yes." So he took off a foot. It's still huge. Luckily the boy has really high ceilings. I hope this wasn't a mistake. What if he's afraid to sleep in it? That would be sad. And a little funny. But he wants one so bad and has asked for a high bed a gazillion times. We aim to please. Yep. A high bed he shall receive. On a sidenote: please remember that this is a Christmas present and the boy will not see it until Christmas morning. Just in case the 5 of you reading this have any kind of interaction with my kid. Why would you want to spoil a kid's Christmas surprise? Gosh!

6) Christmas Cards: I was off for a week and still couldn't find the time to get them done!! Blurg you Christmas Cards! My family's cute, we're awesome doing great...blah blah blah. There. Now you have a Christmas card (insert mental image of my cute family take off our Santa hats. We would never do that) Maybe one day I will grow up and manage to send out Christmas Cards to the masses. Sigh.

7) Fudge: I think I will go have a piece of fudge right now. Seriously...can't stop eating it. You don't need to judge me...I JUDGE MYSELF! Yum. Chocolatey goodness.

Merry Christmas!


PS - Hi Joana


  1. Love this...It's a great idea. I understand with the Rudolph thing though too. Happy Holidays

  2. Love your post and miss you and your boys! Your mom's fudge sounds yummy! I've put on about 10 lbs. of butter weight from eating the sugar cookie dough - SO good! :) Have an awesome Christmas!

  3. Yeah I hear you with the Rudolph thing. It's not just his dad either. Santa is kinda a d-bag. First, he kinda is the reason Rudolph's dad is mean to him, because when Santa meets Rudolph for the first time, he flat out states that if Rudolph still has the red nose when he's older, Rudolph won't be able to be on the sleigh team. Then, once Rudolph is older, Santa's like, "it totally doesn't matter that Rudolph was one of the best fliers here today, he looks weird, so I don't want to hire him." (not a direct quote :P) Totally discrimination. Santa only comes around when it would benefit HIM. Also, he totally disses the elves' singing, after not really paying attention while they were singing.

    Is it bad that despite all of it's problems, I still love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? And that I let Hannah watch it entirely too much?

    Oh well.

  4. Watching Rudolph makes me sad... it's like Toddlers and Tiaras only with reindeer. The message is simple -- you are not good enough the way God made you. Yet I still watch it joyfully several times each year. Go figure.

    I hate fudge -- thank you Jesus.

    Bekah Withey blesses my life. I love her.

  5. your old Youth PastorDecember 22, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Tell your mom to mail me some fudge. Seriously. I'm not joking. Who jokes about fudge!

  6. love your post as always! I totally agree about Rudolph. I can't watch it anymore. Just sad. :) Merry Christmas Bekah!

  7. You made me laugh out loud...thanks. PS the fudge is gooooood. I ate it all by myself! xo Rambo