Saturday, January 24, 2009

My Peripheral Vision Was Not So Much

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you have lost all peripheral vision and the benefits that come with it? Suddenly you are dropping things, tripping on stuff and not able to handle daily tasks with the same ballerina-esque fluidity that you do on a normal day. That's how my Thursday was from the minute I woke up. It was one of those days that just feels weird. Nothing was going quite right. It was almost right...I blame my lack of peripheral vision. It felt like I could only see right in front of me. Not down or off to either side. Just direclty in front. This absolutely becomes an issue for every day tasks. You begin to appreciate the peripheral. It was a day that started out weird, slowly worked its way into the average category, then it got good...but it ended great.

After work we headed as a family to visit our friends, who just had twins, at the hospital. I had made them dinner that day...which let me tell you is a difficult thing to do when one's peripheral vision is not so much working. We brought it to the hospital and we were going to eat there with them in their room. The boy made me so proud. He walked right with us and stayed and sat when asked. Good boy :). Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to our dog. This makes me feel like an unfit mother so I do try to catch myself..."sit,!"...this is what I'm talking about. Nonetheless, he was very good and very patient while we hung out at the hospital and helped our friends move rooms and load up their car. My husband ended up taking the boy home for bed so that I could go see the girls in the NICU. What a good man he is.

This may sound strange but this is when my day started to go from good to great. I walked into the NICU, scrubbed up my apparently dirty hands, and walked over to my friends who were sitting next to their little twin girls. The girls are doing good, but are still hooked up to who knows how many different machines and wires. They had little cloth sunglasses on and you could see the cutest scrawny little arms I have ever seen poking out from around the wires and blankets. It was so amazing to see! It's amazing how hard we have to work to finish something God does so easily. Here's the thing. It wasn't sad. There was a peace from God that was so real and profound you could almost see it hovering over those girls beds. You know there's an angel on duty for each one day and night. It was peaceful. A peace only God can bring. I got to hold each of their little hands and pray for each one. I can't imagine the rollercoaster ride of emotions that my friends are on, but you can see the same peace in their faces. I feel sorry and sad for those going through something like this without God!

When I got home I had the incredible urge to hold my son. So I told my husband "I'm going in to see the boy." He responded with a loving "Are you crazy? Leave him alone! What if he wakes up?" It's amazing the joy you find while watching them sleep and the complete fear that can overwhelm as they show signs of waking before the proper time. But that night I didn't care. I went in his room, picked him up and we sat in his rocker together. He laid in my arms asleep, looking more awesome than ever, and I sat and prayed for the girls and our friends at the same time thanking God for my boy. I leaned down and whispered to the boy "I love you" and without missing a beat in his sleep he smiled and said "love you." And that's when my day made the complete transformation from good to great.


1 comment:

  1. You make me want to go pick up my "boy" for some nighttime cuddles, but alas, my fear of him not sleeping well the rest of the night makes me stay in my chair. :) Thanks for the great posts! - Mindy