Some Christmas Ponderings

1) Rudolph: Why is Rudolph's dad such a sexist pig? We watched that movie the other night...you know...the classic one from the 50's? And Rudolph's dad is kind of a jerk. He's rude to Rudolph because his nose glows so he makes him cover it up so he's not embarrassed in front of his other buck friends. Then he gets mad when the fake nose falls off after Rudolph leaps for joy that the young doe likes him...not to mention the fact that he doesn't even give him props for his first moment of flying. So...Rudolph runs away encountering a "misfit" elf and they venture off together in search of acceptance. Bleh. Meanwhile, back at Christmas Town (that's where Rudolph is from...don't you know) Mrs. Rudolph's mom wants to go in search of her poor sweet son but the sexist husband stops her and tells her "no...this is man's work" Direct quote. Wow. So she does what any self respecting wife would do and goes anyway after he leaves and takes the sweet doe with her. So now, she has gone against her husbands wishes and kidnapped a minor in the process. Ahem. Finally...a few antlers later...they all get caught up together in the cave of the monster...the abominable snowman. Rudolph and his buddies end up being the heroes (of course). And it turns out that the beast isn't so vicious after all...apparently he just had a toothache. "Time to get the women folk back to Christmas Town" yep. Another direct quote. So they get the women folk back to Christmas Town where everyone is sorry because they've realized how beneficial Rudolph's nose is in a storm. The end.

*I don't think I like this movie but then my heart tells me that I do. I feel ponderous on this...

2) Fudge: Yum. My mom makes the best fudge in the world. I say that with the utmost confidence. If she participated in a Fudge Judge she would win the blue ribbon and probably a $25 gift card to Applebees. My problem is I can't stop eating it. I think I have gained 10 lbs of fudge weight. Merry Christmas hips and thighs!

3) Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special: I just recommended this to my friend Nate. He looked at me in disgust and horror. Why Nate? Why do you despise the Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special? There's puppets and singing and dancing...what could be better than that? Get it. Watch it. I'm pretty sure it's on sale at the Dollar Tree.

4) Shopping: Ugh. I hate it. I like it. I hate it. I kind of like it...THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE! They push past me smelling of beef stick and cheese and sometimes BO. They touch me. Gross. They look at me with beady eyes if I'm in the same section of the store. LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT $20 TOASTER ANYWAY! Yikes! Online shopping. Sigh. It's magical. Got most of my shopping done that way this year. It was delightful. The husband and I tag teamed on Black Friday. He sat in his underwear...let's be honest it's his favorite thing to do...while I was out braving the madness that is BLACK FRIDAY (say this with an echo). I had my gloves (it was cold outside for goodness sakes) and my list and he had his computer. And we both had cell phones. Woot! So I would find a deal and call the husband, then he would look it up on amazon (God bless amazon) and then we would get the best deal. It was like we were giving it back to all those in charge of the shopping frenzy! TAKE THAT CEO! Is what my husband would yell to the heavens every time we got the better deal. I love him. He's cute. Shopping done.

5) The High Bed: The husband built a platform bed for the boy for Christmas this year. He built it because 1) you can't find good ones 2) If you find a good one it's only at Pottery Barn and costs $1,000,000 So...the conclusion was to build it ourselves. The love is very good at this. He built our bed too. Did you know he was so talented? Did you? It's cuz I give him sugar (actual sugar...don't be gross). So...the bed is built. And it is LARGE. 10 feet tall to be exact. He asked me if I thought he should cut it down a bit and I'm pretty sure my exact response was "Ummm...yes." So he took off a foot. It's still huge. Luckily the boy has really high ceilings. I hope this wasn't a mistake. What if he's afraid to sleep in it? That would be sad. And a little funny. But he wants one so bad and has asked for a high bed a gazillion times. We aim to please. Yep. A high bed he shall receive. On a sidenote: please remember that this is a Christmas present and the boy will not see it until Christmas morning. Just in case the 5 of you reading this have any kind of interaction with my kid. Why would you want to spoil a kid's Christmas surprise? Gosh!

6) Christmas Cards: I was off for a week and still couldn't find the time to get them done!! Blurg you Christmas Cards! My family's cute, we're awesome doing great...blah blah blah. There. Now you have a Christmas card (insert mental image of my cute family here...now take off our Santa hats. We would never do that) Maybe one day I will grow up and manage to send out Christmas Cards to the masses. Sigh.

7) Fudge: I think I will go have a piece of fudge right now. Seriously...can't stop eating it. You don't need to judge me...I JUDGE MYSELF! Yum. Chocolatey goodness.

Merry Christmas!

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

PS - Hi Joana

Ear Fishing Sucks

It was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house

The children were all crazy and wrestling about...

So...it really was the night before Thanksgiving when it happened. Ugh.

You know those Go Fishin' games? I hate that game. I thought I loved it. I bought the game for the boy because I remember loving that game as a kid. But now I see the truth...those beady eyes and snapping mouths. The surprisingly sharp fishing poles that twist and turn in weird ways. The click clack sound as it spins around and around and around. Those beady eyed fish always getting knocked and spilled out of their little holes in the "water" leaving pieces of mouths to be picked up and put back in their homes. Blurg! Buying that game was my first mistake.

Back to Thanksgiving Eve...we were all just wrestling and playing about. I was holding the baby, who was holding one of those darn fishing poles. Letting him hold one of those...that was my second mistake. The husband came up and was tickling the baby. Amidst the laughter and joy I felt a horrendous, stabbing pain coming from my right ear. I don't really remember what happened after that. I don't know if I dropped the baby. If I set him down. If the husband took him from me. I just remember crying and holding my ear. I thought he stabbed my eardrum. It was THE WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT...including any part of the birth of my two children. Somehow, the baby managed to go ear fishing...and I think he won. I don't know how it happened or if we could even ever make it happen again. FLUKE. WEIRDNESS. Yep...that fishing pole stabbed into my ear and the hook caught in my ear canal and then ripped flesh on the way out. Praise Jesus I could still hear. But blood did ooze out. And it freaked me out. And it freaked my husband and kids out. They stood around me in a semi-circle...wide eyed with awe at what the heck just happened. They were all very cute and very sweet. My boys :)

IT

HURT

BAD

YIKES!

I threw the game in the trash. I do not endorse or support this game. I didn't like it before the ear fishing event. But I completely loathe it now.

Ear fishing sucks. And it's also dangerous.

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

PS - the inner canal of my ear...you know the dark part that you can't see...has a huge scab and still hurts...just so you know.

Who Knew?

Last December we suddenly realized that Christmas had whizzed past us so quickly that many of the Christmas-y type things we love to do either got overlooked in the bustle and craziness or got done half-heartedly because we were too scattered to breathe for a minute and enjoy those Christmas-y things we love. So we made a decision one year ago to take a week of vacation in December.

Best

Decision

Ever

Today brings day 3 of our week to an end. Sigh. It has been magical. We haven't traveled. We haven't done anything spectacular. We've just been...together, relaxing, at home. Every morning we have breakfast and enjoy our Christmas tree without having to rush out the door. GO! GO! GO! Sometimes I feel like some sort of coach. But not this week. This week we are still. And lazy. And still in our pj's until bedtime (today anyway). And it's magical.

So far we have...

1) Cleaned the house: praise Jesus! And I mean really cleaned. All the deep stuff. There's nothing hotter than a husband cleaning baseboards. 1,362 Clorox wipes later...the house is clean :)

2) Done laundry: praise Jesus! We were all down to the last resort underwear...chonies...skivvies...you know what I'm talking about. The kind that get shoved in the back of your drawer cuz they just don't share the same comfort level but you keep them for just in case type situations? Yep. That was us. And the exciting news is...all the laundry has been put away! It's a Christmas miracle.

3) Made ornaments: this was messy and required a lot of clean up so that the aforementioned cleaning did not go to waste and make mommy want to shout "I JUST CLEANED UP THIS MESS 5 MINUTES AGO!" to anyone that would listen. But not this week. :)

4) Made cookies: Also messy...but totally worth it. YUMMY! SLURP! GULP! Snowman heads with frosting are good...

5) Made dinner 3 nights in a row: All the working moms out there know how grand this is.

6) Went on a light hunt: It's tradition! We get hot chocolate and drive around looking for light spectacles. It's super. Maybe we will get to do it twice this year :)

Vacation in December...who knew?

Now I know.

Amazing.

I think it will become a Withey tradition...

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

Some Things...

Here are some things...

Today I have prom nails. Yep. I got me some fakesies. Now I can rawr people with so much more meaning :)

But that's not the big news today. The big news is that the baby is walking! Yay! He's 15 months old. I guess he's kinda slow :) FINALLY! No more crawling on the dirty nasty ground. No more rug burned knees and tops of feet. No more fighting him to stay in my arms when he wants to follow brother out in public places...wait...this actually may still occur. Still. I HATE CRAWLING! And I'm so happy that he's walking.

Tonight the husband had CMT on. It was some redneck show featuring some crazy redneck dudes (no offense to rednecks reading this blog) who were doing some stupid redneck stuff. About 5 minutes in I felt real angry. I seriously wanted to punch one of those rednecks in the face. Why do rednecks make me angry tonight? Husband says I'm prejudice but if I heard one more twang, or squeal or shotgun or pig snort or truck backfire I might have punched my husband in the face. So...he turned it off. God bless him. I guess I just couldn't handle some redneck goodness tonight. Maybe it's hormones. Yep. Let's blame the hormones...

Speaking of hormones. I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE!

Tonight at bedtime the husband and I were performing the nighttime routine with the boy and he leaned in to me and whispered, "mommy, can you ask Daddy to leave my room so you and me can spend some time together?" and then he shot me the eyes. Those baby blues. So when we were done I spent some extra time with him. He must have needed it and soon there might be times when he won't want it. Sigh. I love that kid.

Why does the first toilet seat cover always rip or tear or fall into the toilet? I always have to use 2! Even though there are clear instructions written right there on the case...first pull up, then pull down...you've seen it. You've read it. You've ripped it and had to get a second one. As if those instructions: 1) ever change 2) are ever useful 3) actually work

Those are some things...

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

Soup Time

I was told by my son that I am the best soup maker ever. I just thought that everyone should know.

I love soup. My son loves soup. A lot. A whole lot. His favorite is broccoli cheese. I know. He's weird for a four year old. He also loves crab. And shrimp. And vegetables. I love him.

So. It's fall. And fall just calls out for soup nights. I am happy to oblige. The latest soup? Squash. Yum. It's creamy and delicious. Here's my recipe. It's super easy.

2 Butternut Squash

2 Acorn Squash

1 stick butter

1 onion - diced

2 boxes Chicken Broth

Heavy whipping cream

Cut both kinds of squash in half and scoop out seeds. Place squash, flesh side up, on a cookie sheet covered in tinfoil (the tinfoil just helps with the clean up...I'm kinda lazy). Drizzle squash with olive oil and then generously sprinkle sea salt, garlic and pepper all over the squash. Pour a little water on the bottom of the pan and cover with tinfoil. Bake at 400 for 1 hour - 1 1/2 hours. Squash should be soft enough to scoop out easily.

*Acorn squash will cook faster then the butternut

About 10 min before squash is done place a stick of butter in a big pot. Add diced onion to melted butter. Cook until onion is translucent. Add chicken broth and simmer. Scoop out flesh of squash and add to the broth mixture. Add about 1/2 quart of heavy whipping cream (or more depending on how naughty you are feeling). With a stick blender, blend the soup until creamy but still with some texture. (If you don't have a stick blender you could transfer to a regular blender and then back to the pot but that's a lof of work and a lot of clean up so I woud just mash it with a spoon or whisk as best as I could...chunky soup never hurt anyone!)

Serve with freshly grated parm cheese. Super.

This is our favorite soup right now so I thought I would share the love. :)

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

The Almost Syndrome

Mommy, are we there yet? Almost

Mommy, is it time for a nap? Almost

Mommy, did I smack you across the face with my light saber? (sigh) ALMOST

The almost syndrome. Motherhood often finds itself at the mercy of the ALMOST. Equally at the mercy of the ALMOST are the children at the receiving end of the ALMOST. ALMOST. ALMOST. ALMOST. ALMOST. ALMOST. ALMOST. Did it stop sounding like a real word yet?

I sit here and think about how often I use the word almost. Last week for instance. I almost peed my pants when my husband and son returned from Walmart and I discovered that the boy had somehow managed to get past me wearing shorts and cowboy boots. Not that I have anything against either one. And let's be honest, he was going to Walmart. But...he also has a rash covering his entire body because he somehow contracted 5th disease. Yay! If someone's mother only ALMOST took their kid to school with 5th disease then my son wouldn't have contracted the crazy, red, splotchy looking disease. Stop staring at me! And my son! So help me! Phew. That felt good :)

I almost didn't eat that donut today. But I did.

I almost did not freak out when my air turned up to 74 today. But I did.

I almost did not watch the entire Samantha Who series on Netflix in two days. But I did.

I almost bought a basketball hoop at a garage sale for $25. But I didn't. Blurg you husband!

I've had an entire day of almosts before. It's not a pleasant kind of day. It's the kind of day where you almost get out the door on time, but one of the lovelies goes poop and you have to clean it off of you, their legs, their ankles, their back, their neck and their hands (because somehow in the clean up they managed to reach down and grab a handful of the wretched stuff)...making you 20 minutes late out the door. Shucks. ALMOST!

Then comes lunch. A blessed part of the day...usually. Until an appointment shows up and you don't get to eat until 2 at which point everyone has eaten without you, so you eat in your office by yourself. ALMOST!

And then work is over and you pick up your kids. You've planned ahead and have the meal all planned out. So you get home and start cooking. Everything is almost ready and the children start falling apart. The baby only had a half hour nap at school so he is grumpy and hungry and falls completely apart while you're trying to feed him pasta that he DOESN'T WANT TO EAT! So you give up and take him to bed. Meanwhile, your four year old (also tired and hungry) is falling apart because...actually, who knows why...and is sobbing in the bathroom. Also meanwhile, your husband is at the store because you almost remembered to buy bread for the dinner, but you didn't. So you have sent him out and are now regretting that decision because everyone has had a meltdown while you are just trying to feed your family a nice dinner. ALMOST.

ALMOST. Such an unpredictable word. And sometimes rude.

But it doesn't count if it's an ALMOST. So just declare a do-over and start again :)

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

Lola. Period.

I feel ashamed. And sad. And horrified. That it has been exactly 9o-ish days since I have posted. To my 5 faithful readers. I am sorry. But I am more sorry that 3 months have gone by without even a word written about the funny-ness that is my life. The children. The husband. The dog. There is always some sort of chaos. Trust me.

For example. Two days ago the air conditioning in our house went out. I was home with the boys that day and realized the house was getting gradually warmer. At first I was deep in the throes of denial and thought it was just because I had made scones and the oven had been at 425 for a good hour. Combined with the fact that this is Vegas and it's exactly 210 degrees outside. As the day went on the house got warmer. And I got grumpier. I decided it was best to call the hubs.

So I did. And he called our Home Warranty. And they called out a repairman. Who couldn't come until the next day. Sometime between the hours of 8am to 6pm. Lovely.

One sleepover at my sister's house and 10 scones later...our air was fixed and all was well with the world again.

Until Lola started her period. At my sister's house while I was at work. (insert evil mwahahaha here). My sister said she had PMS. Poor Lola. Poor sister. Lucky me :)

The boys are big. Baby Z turned one while I've been away from this lovely blog. One. Did I mention he turned one? Remember how I just gave birth to him yesterday? Seriously. He is still cute. But feisty. Yep. The sweet, laid back, easy-going Baby Z has now entered the "scream and throw a fit when he doesn't get his own way" phase. It's SUPER FUN! Lots of thrashing and crying...mostly from me. He's just strong willed and super smart. That's what we tell ourselves anyway. It somehow makes us feel better. For a minute.

Yep. Parenting. It's a challenge. And each day is filled with that one question every parent is seeking the answer to...

WHAT THE CRAP AM I DOING? :)

More to come. I need a scone.

Lovesandboys,

Bekah