Instagram Love and Red Balloons

I love instagram. The more I am on Instagram the more I find myself despising Facebook. Instagram is mostly happy. No drama. Good clean fun. (I believe this statement to be true for adults who have a sense of the Godly, and unGodly) I CHOOSE to follow people on Instagram who make me smile, are positive, love Jesus, are entertaining and who make me laugh. I follow people who I have never met in person but who I have grown to love because of what they stand for. Emmy Blakely, for instance, who is an advocate for adoption. She raises funds for OTHER people’s families to be whole through adoption. Her personal journey with adoption and infertility is an inspiration to me. So I stalk...I mean follow her...and support the adoption fundraising she does. She was the first that I started following without having a personal relationship. Steve often times makes fun of me because of the fake friends that I have made on Instagram. But I don’t care...what does he know? Boys just don’t understand :) 

I began writing this today because one of the people that I follow posted a picture of a mom, dad and little boy asking people to pray for them because of the tragedy they are going through. I began digging and looking for answers as to what happened. My worst thought was reality. The precious, red haired, 3 year old little boy smiling in that picture had died in a tragic accident. He ran out in the street chasing a frisbee and was hit by a truck. My heart has been broken for this family, that I don’t even know, all day. I can’t help but imagine if that tragedy had happened to us. I think about our 3 year old little boy. How much life, laughter, fun and joy he brings to our lives every day. To lose either of my boys in a flash would send me spiraling. I cannot imagine the pain these parents are experiencing. The fight they feel just to breathe. To wake up. To put on clothes. To shower. To eat. To pray. Every task, I would imagine, would feel monumental and yet insignificant. It’s a reminder to me today that this life is temporary. That this life can end in an instant. I know that handsome boy is running with Jesus, free from this world. But his parents are left in the wake of death and tragedy. Would you lift a prayer for them? Their names are Dan and Jacqui. In the midst of darkness we need others to lift us up in prayer. Because even praying seems too hard. My heart breaks for this mommy and daddy that just a few days ago, played with their little not knowing it would be the end. To learn more about this family, search for #redballoonsforryan on Instagram, where you will find pictures and some small businesses doing fundraisers to support the family, if you’re interested. 

Hug your little ones tight. Take the time to put down your phone, your computer, your ipad. Turn off the TV. Go play. Play like you’ve never played before. Use your imagination. Engage in their interests. Put aside your agenda of laundry, and cleaning and dinner and making lunches....and remember that life is short. The laundry will still be there tomorrow. Feed your family though...people do need to eat. Savor the little moments. I heard someone say once to never let go of a child’s hug, but allow them to be the one to let go first. You just never know how long of a hug they need that day. I have put that to practice in our family and what a joy it has been to hold my kids until they choose to let go. Sometimes it’s fast. But sometimes they sink in and because I’m paying attention, I know they need it that day. So I hold tight until they’re done. 

This tragedy hit me hard because it feels so close to home. I could be the one laying down to sleep tonight without my baby boy tucked tightly and lovingly into his bed. I am thankful to our Savior for Hope in the midst of storms. I know and trust that somehow Jesus will give this family the strength to make it through another day. For the faith to know that he won’t waste this hurt. And for His love to swell inside them providing peace and comfort as they walk day to day, never the same again. 

Lovesandboys, 

Bekah

Soul Delights

Wow. It's been a while. The previous post makes me giggle because of the epic FAIL that occurred after. Hahaha. Well...there's always a fresh start. And I've missed blogging. So here we go...

Updates: My boys are old now. The boy is almost 7 and Baby Z is 3. I tell them all the time to stop growing up. The boy just looks at me and smiles. Baby Z says to me, and I quote, "No. I won't stop growing up Mommy. I just can't stop it." FINE! I tell him. BE THAT WAY! :) And then I stomp into a corner and cry myself to sleep.

I turned 36 about 3 weeks ago. It occurred to me that I am now one checkbox closer to the end. 20-25, 26-30, 31-35...I'm now in that 36-40 check here category. Ugh. No thank you. I still feel like I'm 25 for goodness sakes. How am I on the downward slope to 40? The age that just a few short years ago felt like ancient of days to me. The age my parents were when I was in high school. Remember how old your parents felt when you were in high school? And now that's me. Only my kids are in 1st grade and preschool. So I've realized that by the time they're in high school I'm going to be the age my parents were when my sister started having kids. Did I start late? Or did they start when they were still children? Yikes. Getting older isn't terrible...but it is...interesting? Intriguing? Full of wonder? An abyss of where did that mole come from and why is standing up so much harder than it used to be? There are no words or explanations. It is what it is. And what that is no one knows. All we know is that with each passing year we become more like our parents and find ourselves melting into sentimental saps. 36. It's an age. If you need me I'll be at Walmart picking up some Dr. Scholl's and some reading glasses.

In other news...
It's fall. And fall is my favorite time of year. Pumpkin everything...lattes, cakes, breads, cookies, donuts...I love it all. The weather has cooled. There is freshness in the air. And the kids can finally go outside again. Vegas tends to have that awesome, there's a blow dryer on high pointed at my face feeling well into September. So we hibernate all summer as much as we can. We run from AC to AC with anger in our hearts and sweat on our every parts. But the fall ends all of that. The anger turns to happiness. And the sweat turns to fat...from all the pumpkin goodies. It makes my soul glad. Speaking of souls. My husband ran into the store tonight with Baby Z in tow. The boy and I hung in the car and blasted music and talked nonsense...but sometimes all that nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings (name that movie)....anyway. We were sitting there and a song came on that the boy was NOT into. He looked at me and said, it hurts my soul. Wow. Dramatic much? Act like your mommy much? Oops. Us Withey's have a flare for the dramatic.

B-T-DUBS...I leave for Vermont in two days. Now that delights my soul.
Mmmmmm....maple.
Happy fall everyone.

Lovesandboys,
Bekah

Intentionally 2012

Yep. It's 2012. It wasn't that long ago that 2012 seemed like light years away. I was 18 just a few months ago! (192 months ago to be exact...yikes!) Let's not talk about it.

So, I find myself in 2012, married with 2 kids, a dog, a mortgage and a partridge in a pear tree. I'm happy. Fulfilled. Love Jesus. Love my family. Sigh. But I want to be more intentional. That is my goal for this year. To walk this life with intention in every area.

Intention (in-ten-shun) noun: purpose or attitude toward the effect of one's actions or conduct.

Hmmmm...

So often I find my self being reactive instead of proactive. This, I think...is in direct relation to being intentional.

For example: The dishwasher is full. So I leave the morning dishes in the sink praying to Jesus that the husband will unload the dishwasher and load the dishes. This, in fact, is not what happens. He in turn, leaves dishes from lunch also praying to Jesus that I will unload the dishwasher and do the dishes. 3 days and 152 dishes later...one of us find ourselves doing dishes for an hour when it would have only taken 5 minutes to wash the breakfast dishes from 3 days ago if we had just done that in the first place. So then...I am stuck scrubbing and slaving over nasty, gross dishes. REACTIVE.

Another example: There is a donut. Yum. I eat it. 5 years after kids later I find myself...let's just say a lot of pounds heavier than I once was...needing to lose all this weight when if I had just been more intentional about healthy eating to begin with I wouldn't need to slave over losing unwanted pounds. Then when the boy sees pictures of me from our wedding day he doesn't have to say things like, "Mommy, how come when you married daddy your tummy was flat?" And then I don't have to point my finger in his face and declare "WHEN YOU CARRY TWO HUMAN BEINGS IN YOUR GUT YOU CAN ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN!" I mean...errr...that's not actually what I said. But it sure is what I wanted to say. Instead, I smiled at him and told him that sometimes that just happens to mommies after they have kids. Normal mommies anyway...darn you skinny moms! YOU MAKE US ALL LOOK BAD! :) I mean, way to lose your baby weight, you look great and stuff...

REACTIVE.

Our lives require intentional living. Emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially, in relationships, at work...I want to KNOW that my actions have purpose and are helping me achieve the effect that I want in this life.

This year, the boy starts Kindergarten. Baby Z turns 2. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!? As they grow, chaos grows. Being intentional with my time with my two amazing boys gets even more crucial. They're so cool. And amazing. And Jesus is letting me raise them. PROACTIVE!

2012 is going to be a great year. Intentionally. You'll see. YOU'LL ALL SEE! : )

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

Some Christmas Ponderings

1) Rudolph: Why is Rudolph's dad such a sexist pig? We watched that movie the other night...you know...the classic one from the 50's? And Rudolph's dad is kind of a jerk. He's rude to Rudolph because his nose glows so he makes him cover it up so he's not embarrassed in front of his other buck friends. Then he gets mad when the fake nose falls off after Rudolph leaps for joy that the young doe likes him...not to mention the fact that he doesn't even give him props for his first moment of flying. So...Rudolph runs away encountering a "misfit" elf and they venture off together in search of acceptance. Bleh. Meanwhile, back at Christmas Town (that's where Rudolph is from...don't you know) Mrs. Rudolph's mom wants to go in search of her poor sweet son but the sexist husband stops her and tells her "no...this is man's work" Direct quote. Wow. So she does what any self respecting wife would do and goes anyway after he leaves and takes the sweet doe with her. So now, she has gone against her husbands wishes and kidnapped a minor in the process. Ahem. Finally...a few antlers later...they all get caught up together in the cave of the monster...the abominable snowman. Rudolph and his buddies end up being the heroes (of course). And it turns out that the beast isn't so vicious after all...apparently he just had a toothache. "Time to get the women folk back to Christmas Town" yep. Another direct quote. So they get the women folk back to Christmas Town where everyone is sorry because they've realized how beneficial Rudolph's nose is in a storm. The end.

*I don't think I like this movie but then my heart tells me that I do. I feel ponderous on this...

2) Fudge: Yum. My mom makes the best fudge in the world. I say that with the utmost confidence. If she participated in a Fudge Judge she would win the blue ribbon and probably a $25 gift card to Applebees. My problem is I can't stop eating it. I think I have gained 10 lbs of fudge weight. Merry Christmas hips and thighs!

3) Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special: I just recommended this to my friend Nate. He looked at me in disgust and horror. Why Nate? Why do you despise the Kathie Lee Gifford Christmas Special? There's puppets and singing and dancing...what could be better than that? Get it. Watch it. I'm pretty sure it's on sale at the Dollar Tree.

4) Shopping: Ugh. I hate it. I like it. I hate it. I kind of like it...THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE! They push past me smelling of beef stick and cheese and sometimes BO. They touch me. Gross. They look at me with beady eyes if I'm in the same section of the store. LEAVE ME ALONE! I DON'T EVEN WANT THAT $20 TOASTER ANYWAY! Yikes! Online shopping. Sigh. It's magical. Got most of my shopping done that way this year. It was delightful. The husband and I tag teamed on Black Friday. He sat in his underwear...let's be honest it's his favorite thing to do...while I was out braving the madness that is BLACK FRIDAY (say this with an echo). I had my gloves (it was cold outside for goodness sakes) and my list and he had his computer. And we both had cell phones. Woot! So I would find a deal and call the husband, then he would look it up on amazon (God bless amazon) and then we would get the best deal. It was like we were giving it back to all those in charge of the shopping frenzy! TAKE THAT CEO! Is what my husband would yell to the heavens every time we got the better deal. I love him. He's cute. Shopping done.

5) The High Bed: The husband built a platform bed for the boy for Christmas this year. He built it because 1) you can't find good ones 2) If you find a good one it's only at Pottery Barn and costs $1,000,000 So...the conclusion was to build it ourselves. The love is very good at this. He built our bed too. Did you know he was so talented? Did you? It's cuz I give him sugar (actual sugar...don't be gross). So...the bed is built. And it is LARGE. 10 feet tall to be exact. He asked me if I thought he should cut it down a bit and I'm pretty sure my exact response was "Ummm...yes." So he took off a foot. It's still huge. Luckily the boy has really high ceilings. I hope this wasn't a mistake. What if he's afraid to sleep in it? That would be sad. And a little funny. But he wants one so bad and has asked for a high bed a gazillion times. We aim to please. Yep. A high bed he shall receive. On a sidenote: please remember that this is a Christmas present and the boy will not see it until Christmas morning. Just in case the 5 of you reading this have any kind of interaction with my kid. Why would you want to spoil a kid's Christmas surprise? Gosh!

6) Christmas Cards: I was off for a week and still couldn't find the time to get them done!! Blurg you Christmas Cards! My family's cute, we're awesome doing great...blah blah blah. There. Now you have a Christmas card (insert mental image of my cute family here...now take off our Santa hats. We would never do that) Maybe one day I will grow up and manage to send out Christmas Cards to the masses. Sigh.

7) Fudge: I think I will go have a piece of fudge right now. Seriously...can't stop eating it. You don't need to judge me...I JUDGE MYSELF! Yum. Chocolatey goodness.

Merry Christmas!

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

PS - Hi Joana

Ear Fishing Sucks

It was the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house

The children were all crazy and wrestling about...

So...it really was the night before Thanksgiving when it happened. Ugh.

You know those Go Fishin' games? I hate that game. I thought I loved it. I bought the game for the boy because I remember loving that game as a kid. But now I see the truth...those beady eyes and snapping mouths. The surprisingly sharp fishing poles that twist and turn in weird ways. The click clack sound as it spins around and around and around. Those beady eyed fish always getting knocked and spilled out of their little holes in the "water" leaving pieces of mouths to be picked up and put back in their homes. Blurg! Buying that game was my first mistake.

Back to Thanksgiving Eve...we were all just wrestling and playing about. I was holding the baby, who was holding one of those darn fishing poles. Letting him hold one of those...that was my second mistake. The husband came up and was tickling the baby. Amidst the laughter and joy I felt a horrendous, stabbing pain coming from my right ear. I don't really remember what happened after that. I don't know if I dropped the baby. If I set him down. If the husband took him from me. I just remember crying and holding my ear. I thought he stabbed my eardrum. It was THE WORST PAIN I HAVE EVER FELT...including any part of the birth of my two children. Somehow, the baby managed to go ear fishing...and I think he won. I don't know how it happened or if we could even ever make it happen again. FLUKE. WEIRDNESS. Yep...that fishing pole stabbed into my ear and the hook caught in my ear canal and then ripped flesh on the way out. Praise Jesus I could still hear. But blood did ooze out. And it freaked me out. And it freaked my husband and kids out. They stood around me in a semi-circle...wide eyed with awe at what the heck just happened. They were all very cute and very sweet. My boys :)

IT

HURT

BAD

YIKES!

I threw the game in the trash. I do not endorse or support this game. I didn't like it before the ear fishing event. But I completely loathe it now.

Ear fishing sucks. And it's also dangerous.

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

PS - the inner canal of my ear...you know the dark part that you can't see...has a huge scab and still hurts...just so you know.

Who Knew?

Last December we suddenly realized that Christmas had whizzed past us so quickly that many of the Christmas-y type things we love to do either got overlooked in the bustle and craziness or got done half-heartedly because we were too scattered to breathe for a minute and enjoy those Christmas-y things we love. So we made a decision one year ago to take a week of vacation in December.

Best

Decision

Ever

Today brings day 3 of our week to an end. Sigh. It has been magical. We haven't traveled. We haven't done anything spectacular. We've just been...together, relaxing, at home. Every morning we have breakfast and enjoy our Christmas tree without having to rush out the door. GO! GO! GO! Sometimes I feel like some sort of coach. But not this week. This week we are still. And lazy. And still in our pj's until bedtime (today anyway). And it's magical.

So far we have...

1) Cleaned the house: praise Jesus! And I mean really cleaned. All the deep stuff. There's nothing hotter than a husband cleaning baseboards. 1,362 Clorox wipes later...the house is clean :)

2) Done laundry: praise Jesus! We were all down to the last resort underwear...chonies...skivvies...you know what I'm talking about. The kind that get shoved in the back of your drawer cuz they just don't share the same comfort level but you keep them for just in case type situations? Yep. That was us. And the exciting news is...all the laundry has been put away! It's a Christmas miracle.

3) Made ornaments: this was messy and required a lot of clean up so that the aforementioned cleaning did not go to waste and make mommy want to shout "I JUST CLEANED UP THIS MESS 5 MINUTES AGO!" to anyone that would listen. But not this week. :)

4) Made cookies: Also messy...but totally worth it. YUMMY! SLURP! GULP! Snowman heads with frosting are good...

5) Made dinner 3 nights in a row: All the working moms out there know how grand this is.

6) Went on a light hunt: It's tradition! We get hot chocolate and drive around looking for light spectacles. It's super. Maybe we will get to do it twice this year :)

Vacation in December...who knew?

Now I know.

Amazing.

I think it will become a Withey tradition...

Lovesandboys,

Bekah

Some Things...

Here are some things...

Today I have prom nails. Yep. I got me some fakesies. Now I can rawr people with so much more meaning :)

But that's not the big news today. The big news is that the baby is walking! Yay! He's 15 months old. I guess he's kinda slow :) FINALLY! No more crawling on the dirty nasty ground. No more rug burned knees and tops of feet. No more fighting him to stay in my arms when he wants to follow brother out in public places...wait...this actually may still occur. Still. I HATE CRAWLING! And I'm so happy that he's walking.

Tonight the husband had CMT on. It was some redneck show featuring some crazy redneck dudes (no offense to rednecks reading this blog) who were doing some stupid redneck stuff. About 5 minutes in I felt real angry. I seriously wanted to punch one of those rednecks in the face. Why do rednecks make me angry tonight? Husband says I'm prejudice but if I heard one more twang, or squeal or shotgun or pig snort or truck backfire I might have punched my husband in the face. So...he turned it off. God bless him. I guess I just couldn't handle some redneck goodness tonight. Maybe it's hormones. Yep. Let's blame the hormones...

Speaking of hormones. I WANT SOME CHOCOLATE!

Tonight at bedtime the husband and I were performing the nighttime routine with the boy and he leaned in to me and whispered, "mommy, can you ask Daddy to leave my room so you and me can spend some time together?" and then he shot me the eyes. Those baby blues. So when we were done I spent some extra time with him. He must have needed it and soon there might be times when he won't want it. Sigh. I love that kid.

Why does the first toilet seat cover always rip or tear or fall into the toilet? I always have to use 2! Even though there are clear instructions written right there on the case...first pull up, then pull down...you've seen it. You've read it. You've ripped it and had to get a second one. As if those instructions: 1) ever change 2) are ever useful 3) actually work

Those are some things...

Lovesandboys,

Bekah